Settling into preschool: how do the first two weeks really go?
Crying is normal; sneaking away isn’t. Five things parents can do in settling-in week and when to worry.
Every September we see the same scene at our door: a child clinging to a parent’s leg, and a parent just as uneasy. After fifteen years we can say this scene usually ends by the end of the second week. But how it ends depends a lot on what the parent does in the first days.
Crying is not an alarm, it’s a way of saying goodbye
For a two- or three-year-old, separation is a real loss. Crying is the healthiest way to express it. Most children who cry at the door return to play a few minutes after the parent is out of sight. We send you a photo that morning to show you.
Five things parents can do
- Say goodbye; don’t sneak away. Slipping out while the child is distracted looks easy on day one but damages trust the next morning.
- Keep it short. A parent who lingers at the door tells the child there is something to fear here.
- Come at the same time. Children don’t know the clock, but they know the order: “after nap, before snack”.
- Bring a piece of home. A small toy or the smell of a parent’s scarf helps a lot in the first weeks.
- Talk about school warmly in the evening. Ask concrete questions like “Which song did Miss Elif sing today?”.
We sit in class during settling-in
For the first three days a parent sits with us in class. From day four we lengthen the time apart a little each day. The child, not the calendar, sets the pace.
When to worry
If after the third week the child still doesn’t eat or play at school, or sleep at home is clearly disrupted, talk to the teacher. We then build a slower plan together.
